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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

The Party Before, the Calm Before the Storm

With the impending doom diet of the new year inching ever closer, I am trying to clear out the fridge and pantry of all delicious evils.  Lucky for us this includes the beer fridge, liquor cabinet, and all leftover Christmas cookies.  surprisingly there is still a lot of booze here, even after my brother has visited.

I don't want to have to throw anything out during the upcoming kitchen purge, so it all must go.  But since I have not lived at the Fraternity for a long time, my tolerance is at an all-time low.  Seriously, after a few drinks I just get tired, and want a nap. 

Anyways, I have been trying to get everything else ready for the new year.  I found my FitBit Zip in the bottom of my junk drawer, and had to get a new battery for it.  The app is downloaded onto my Surface, and plan on using that for tracking my weight and daily calories.  I know there is a lot of devices that do the same thing, but I already have the Zip, and it works. 

Today is my last day of bad food, so I will make it count.  Starting with McDonald's breakfast and coffee.  I will miss this delicious greasy goodness.  If I can stay awake tonight, I will open up one of the big bottles of Cook'stal that we have left over from the wedding and usher in the new year, married style.  With me and Tiffany most likely working New Years day, the party will be well below mild.

Tonight I will finalize my plan and goals for the New Year, New Me diet, and get them posted.  Hopefully I can make it through these next few months and feel much better about it.  Stay tuned.


Friday, December 27, 2013

The History

This is a whole new idea to me, writing that is.  So I will tell you where you can put your negative criticisms. (Hint: #yourass)
I have never been much of a writer or a reader for that matter.  I have always thought that a movie is always better and more efficient than reading the book.120 min vs.6 weeks (for me). I found proof right HERE.

Anyways, back to the point.  I have been really overweight for most of my life.  Currently at 260 lbs.  That is a 37.3 BMI and not attractive or healthy.  There were times in college I was down to 200 lbs. but that was after a summer of working 8hrs./day in a plywood mill and then running at least 4 miles afterward.  This is when I  had the energy and drive of a 20 year old.

That was 11 years ago.  Now I am graduated, married, fat, and lazy.  Sure I belong to a gym, but who doesn't just to make themselves feel better.  I couldn't tell you the last time I went.  Maybe sometime in September. There have been several diet attempts that never worked. Except Ephedrine and Caffeine, but those are not easy to get in the States anymore.

Being a good American Blue Collar worker, I eat like crap!  Breakfasts from mini-marts, lunch from fast food joints, and all dinners usually include lots of meat, little vegetables, and lots of starch, and of course all covered with fat.  Top this off with countless energy drinks and soda throughout the day.

With the new year upon us, many start the long road to being healthy.  Most will fall along the trail, but instead of dysentery, or snake bite (Oregon Trail Game) the reason will be no willpower. I have done this almost every year of my adult life.  But it is time to make a change.

Recently my wife, Tiffany, and I have watched the documentary "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead." Wow, what a wake-up call.  It was amazing what Joe Cross could do with a Juicer.  He lost over 100 lbs and quit taking all of his fat guy medications.  So I bought a juicer, a Breville BJE510XL Ikon Juice Extractor.  $300, but I was dedicated to this idea, and have spent about the same on pill bottle diets.

We have tried a lot of different juice recipes, and they are ok-ish.  The more sweet fruits in it, the better it tastes, but that is just extra sugar in your diet.  I am sure after getting used to a vegetable juice diet, they will taste a lot better.

So we are going to try the Juice Cleanse/Diet at the start of the new year.  The Reboot with Joe plan costs upwards of $150 for a 15 day plan. I think I can figure out how to make juice throughout the day with out that kind of cost.  I'll soon work on a more structured plan to get me through the next 30+ days.

It's going to be a rough journey, but maybe I'll keep on it if I Blog about it, and put up status pictures of my fat white self.  Let's see where this goes.

Deuces

Movies are Better Than Books. A Mathematical Proof.

I do not find joy in reading, never have.  I know some people will find this ignorant and completely batshit crazy.  I like watching movies much better.  "But a book is more descriptive." -Every Book Lover in the World.  I disagree and have created a mathematical proof that shows that not only are movies better, but 2700 times better. See for yourself.

A movie projector (pre-digital revolution) shows 24 frames (pictures) per second.
With a little math:
(24 frames/second) x (60  sec/min) = 1,440 frames/min
(1,440 frames/min) x (60 min/hour) = 86,400 frames/hour
(2 hour movie) x (86,400 frames/hour) = 172,800 frames/movie

and if

1 picture = 1000 words

then

(1000 words/pic) x (172,800 frames/hour) = 172,800,000 words/movie

With books averaging 64,000 words each (Amazon.com Text Stats)

(172,800,000 words/movie) / (64,000 words/book) = 2700 Books/Movie.

So I have found mathematical proof that a movie is 2700 times better than a book.

Deuces